Officer J. (Compassionless Dick) Delgehausen,

Dear Officer J. (Compassionless Dick) Delgehausen,

When you asked me if I knew how fast I was going and I told you that my car [shitty, rusted out, 1996 Toyota] doesn't have cruise control and that I'd been working since Friday and I may have been going too fast because I just really wanted to be home, I didn't mean that I had just worked 3 days in a row, I meant that I have literally been working since 4pm on Friday, nonstop.
I didn't mention that I take care of developmentally disabled people for a living (wipe asses, give baths, and dispense affection while maintaining a level of patience you most likely couldn't even comprehend) or that I've been sick for two weeks and got exactly four hours of sleep total the past two nights and had to sit in an emergency room with a client for five hours on Friday while staring at a hospital bed and having PTSD fueled flashbacks.
Nor did I mention that I have had exactly one positive interaction with a cop out of the hundreds of times I've been forced to communicate your kind.
I said nothing about that time an enormous group of you cornered me and someone I loved and attacked us with pepper spray and tear gas for standing on a street.
Not a word about how I already paid my annual pointless $200 when my car got towed two weeks ago because the government (who pays you) can't think of a better way to inform people they are sweeping the streets than putting up signs ONE day beforehand.
I didn't even say anything about the SUV that sped past me as you pulled out of the ditch and turned your lights on, or the fact that I was going 70-- the speed everyone and their grandmother drives on city interstates.
Instead I handed you my insurance card (whose premium will now be unaffordable) and sat in my car blinded by your unnecessary spot light garishly mocking my bad fortune with defeated tears in my eyes.

It must be tough to be a white male working the Eden Prairie beat. I'm sure you had a hard day pulling over the masses of needlessly extravagant BMW, Lexus, Cadillac, SUV driving affluent over privileged populous of Midwestern suburban America. Of course it wasn't at all obvious to you that I really can't afford a speeding ticket-- my very loud and rusty 20 year old car apparently didn't give that away. Or maybe it did and that's why you never made eye contact, I saw only your nose and chin.  I'm sure you also didn't notice the sticker on the back that says,"What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?" Or maybe you did, and kindness just isn't your thing-- you have a quota after all. The state needs money to build a new stadium for the bratty, ultimatum declaring athletes who are paid millions of dollars a year while families lose their homes and people beg for money on corners.
Melodramatic? A bit. But it would really be nice if there were some human cops out there. Maybe you could try that next time Officer D, eh?

All my love,

Miss Norlin

P.S. I'll be contesting your ticket with normal colored hair, no piercings or visible tattoos, and a well pressed suit jacket. See you then, pal!

BP,

      You are such a dirty, underhanded, enormous bastard.  Creating these commercials and paying to have them put on major television stations at prime time hours, starring people (who most likely don't even live on the coasts) talking about how things have never been better for their businesses which revolve around tourism. 
     There's one where a woman exclaims that the beaches have never been more beautiful, and pretty much all of them say something about fishing and seafood. My god!  I really hope people aren't taking that seriously and actually eating what they're catching down there.  Just because your reprehensible company spends millions ensuring these fancy looking commercials are seen, does not mean people will just trust in what they're saying.  At least I hope they aren't, because it's actually almost complete bullshit.  Of course people are still visiting those coastal areas, but they certainly should not be swimming there and should under no circumstances be eating the fish they're catching.  Shame on you for suggesting it!
     Al Jazeera mentions in an article that it took four years for the effects of the Exxon Valdeez spill to be fully seen, and if they are already finding deformed sea creatures in the area of your spill, imagine how much worse this one must be.  Of course the US government would say it's okay to eat seafood from down there.  They're the same people who allow places like White Castle and McDonald's to not only exist every three miles, but are also the people who maintain a system where those companies' food is what's affordable and the things we should really be eating are so expensive the majority of the population of the country can't afford them.  
      You're a scoundrel, Mr. BP.  You're a nasty wasty skunk. 

Abhored,

Sadie

Shameless BP Ads: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q2tjWBIXEc

Al Jazeera Coverage: http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/04/201241682318260912.html

89.3 The Current,

So I listen all the time and now and then I hear this blurb you guys recite about ethanol and every time it gets me just a little steamed.  The one where at the end it says something like,"Every gallon of clean burning ethanol displaces a gallon of fossil fuels."  It gets me wound up because technically that's not true.  I mean yeah, it burns clean, but saying it displaces the use of fossil fuel isn't accurate because it's not taking into consideration the amount of fossil fuels that are required to create ethanol in the first place.  It takes fossil fuel to plant the corn, to water it, to add herbicide, insecticide, fertilizer, to harvest it, ship it to where it's made into ethanol, it takes fossil fuel to make it into ethanol, then to ship the ethanol to the gas stations and wherever else it is utilized.  Not to mention the degradation of the land where the corn used to make the fuel is grown.  Land which could be used for more cost and energy effective plants like switchgrass and hemp. 
    What upsets me is that every time I hear that repeated on the radio it reminds me that even those of us who seem to be more enlightened, maybe aren't.  And it really bums me out that at least once a day I hear an almost straight up lie repeated  and spread on a mass level.  I understand that that company is one of  your sponsors, but still, it's a bummer that you guys read that specific message on air. 

Just thought I'd share.

Thanks for all the music!